Something to think about

 Something to think about......

Well, last night I had a chat with a friend over the phone......okay, it was a 2 hour long talk so it's no longer a chat.

What did we talk about? Everything and anything but mostly about how and what I really want and should do.

Oh....I want to do a lot of things!! And I think I can do a lot of things!! But he told me to face reality and stop trying to comfort myself. Which half of which is true and the other half I disagree with. But overall, it has a lot of truth in it and the other bits are just me being stubborn. Because I do not agree that age is a factor. I am still in my 30s and feel that way too.

Okay, what was it that he said then that I disagree with. He told me to face reality. Okay, age is something that we cannot run away from or change or hide. As much as we look younger, act younger, feel younger and everything younger but....the number doesn't change unfortunately.

In this real world, if you are over 40, when you send in your resume, they go in the bin. Most cases.

Some they look for experience so they want someone a little older but still under 40s. But most, they want young people. Because they think young people are energetic, willing to learn, has more room to improve and stay......and of course can pay peanuts because young and no experience.

Erm...wake up HR? Now a days, the younger people don't stay even long enough for the probation period. Some don't even last a day!! Well, I heard anyway.....some got scolded and left after the second day. So why are you still desperately recruiting the young when you know the generation is kind of overly protected by their parents, who probably are the hardworking staff that stayed in your company for the last 10 years min! And the government is also encouraging older people to be employed as they are the ones who are bringing home the bacon or feeding their kids at home who doesn't or can't last hard work or want a job they want!! Okay, enough ranting. Who feels the same?

Back to my friend....well, he said I should really think about what I can do without getting a job and because getting hired at this age is difficult and there is no guarantee either. Look at what happened during Covid. Many lost jobs and were back to square one trying to fight jobs with the 20 yr olds and getting pay cut to more then half or worse just taking home the bare minimum.

I've tried to do some online work, but you need to have guidance to do that and then on top of that you have to keep upgrading or paying for stuffs. Maybe I didn't look in the right places.

Other then that, part time jobs they are paying what I use to make when I was 16!!!! $10/hr or less!!!! More then 30 years ago!!!! Hellooooooo!!!!!

Shocker ay? Oh well that is reality......and I was told to accept it!! It's just so hard to swallow you know.....but yes...reality hurts.

Oh well....I am not going to go on about the 2 hour conversation we had.....but it's because we haven't met up for a long time and since we split up when companies moved we hardly met up. After we left the company worse. Maybe a phone call every few months. Initially I use to visit his mother's place when I was pregnant and even after my son was born. But they sold the house and there was no longer a meeting up place anymore. Because of certain reasons. That's why each phone call last for about 2 hrs. Trying to squeeze in all that happened in the last few months and trying to catch up!!! LOL......

So call your friends often. Those who have drifted or those you seldom call, call and catch up. They could bring you some light when you are down, cheer you on or just give you some better ideas maybe. CALL THEM!!!! :)

New Year, New Beginning...or not!

Well, we all have resolutions for the new year and what is your? Same like last year or something totally new? But what happens to last year's problems and are they still around for the new year?

Well, my problems are still the same and I think they will be for the next couple of years unless of course I strike the lottery or something. But then again, who is to say that the problem will not come back and haunt me in the future?

So far, as far as I am concerned, I have to admit that having made some good decisions last year. Firstly of course was to admit my problem and face it instead of living in denial. I don't deny that I have many replases since but I am proud to say that I am more in control and less addictive. My work has used up most of my brains and has been more challanging to give me a high rather then gambling.

I realised that I am the sort of person who look for excitment when I am bored. Now that maybe the economy has picked up, I have more excitment at work thus no need to feed the hunger. Life has been rather challenging for me in the last past month. Having been to China and getting really pissed off with work and seeing for myself the mentality of the chinese and how they work. I wouldn't say I would go back anytime soon if given a choice!!

Then we had the holidays which Christmas I spend in Shanghai totally miserable and the good thing was they ban gambling online so no chance of doing that at all. Which I think sometimes maybe that is what government should do! They ban porno websites but not gambling. Why??

Gambling I think does more damage then porno if you ask me!! But then again, if you have to pay for it then yes, it is just as bad. But gambling sites make so much money I think it is ridiculous. How often can you verify that the person they announced actually won or is it a bogus?

I am glad for one that I did not go cold turkey on my addiction. I know how it will blow up in my face sooner or later. But being control is a much better feeling. And keeping the bank free of access money is a good way to keep me under control. Credit cards of high interest has been cleared on high priority and juggling the low interest to ensure that they do not max out and to pay off anything with high interest is actually quite interesting. It really works the brain and how to manage. Which at the end of the day, even though I still owe the same amount of money, but at least I felt that I have managed it at a manageable level.

I will have a loan finishing in a couple of months and I am already thinking how that could help me clear my debts faster. Even though I am thinking and going to look for a place to buy with my CPF, I have something to look forward to with access cash. Most importantly, it is to one day become debt free. After all my little debts are cleared, I will work on the bigger one like house and car to try and clear off so that when I do retire, I have no burdens.

At the rate I am going at my job, I can do better. I know I can and I should do so now before I get too old. I don't need to be in a high post in a huge company but I need to make enough money for me. But how much is enough?

Well, I have been lucky and have some extra income from 4D but not much...but that helps a little.

I will still work harder this year to accomplish my goals. I do want to try and clear everything before 2013.

If we believe, we can achieve. Happy New Year!!