Do what is important. Not what is urgent.

 Do what is important. Not what is urgent.

Well, we tend to do what is urgent and not what is important. Almost everyone does it.

Because of the sense of urgency, or we are being pressured or rushed, we tend to just do what needs to be done quickly and get it over with. And most people end up being so busy they don't even know why.

These words has always been in my thoughts. And especially when I start to panic, become anxious and feel stressed. I will ask myself. Is this important or is this just urgent?

After you tell the difference, then you will start to have a clear picture of what needs to be done and not what is rushed which is not important at all.

We all have our own problems. But life still has to go on and things still needs to be done. We've got so much emotions that piles up and we have no time to express them or think about it sometimes. And everyday there are more things that will trigger more emotions. More things to think about and do. So much more then some days we feel like exploding or just give up.

When you feel like giving up, that is the time when we should really catagorise our thoughts and feelings and discard those which are useless or of no importance.

People feel stressed because they have no time to analyse their own feelings and thoughts. Some even go crazy because it overwhelms them. Save your own sanity and spend some time to analyse your thoughts and feelings.

This is something that I remembered being told and something that I should do too more often. So that clustered thoughts and feelings can be cleared and make room to breath.

Have a great weekend!!!

Scams

 Scams.

Everyone at some point would have been scammed. I am not the smartest but at some point I would have been scammed too.

Recently I think I have been scammed. There was this click on certain instagram pages and then you get paid. First I thought ok, they are buying clicks so no harm. Few dollars each time. Then they had this task you have to complete. Which is linked to crypto currencies. Okay, the amounts are not too big so you can actually chose the smallest amounts. Then they have this group with you will join and choose the amount and suddenly it became in the thousands. If you don't complete your task, you loose your money. And it has to be prepaid.

Then there is another which I am not sure whether it is a scam but it is called Hostelworld. Where you do bookings for rooms and then suddenly they have these deals where you earn 4% commission. At first too they are small amounts and then suddenly they have bigger amounts and they only give you 24 hours to recharge otherwise your money gets stuck for 6 months inside. Who knows if they are still around after 6 months.

So..I would say when people are in desperation or need they look for outlets to find money. And things like these they suit the seekers needs. Only to be even more broke and desperate after because they have lost whatever they thought could help them get more.

With the world of scammers these days, I wonder how they could live with themselves. Scheming off the poor and making them worse off. Really. I would really like to see them face to face and give them a punch in the face and curse their parents who brought  them up!! But normally they are through messengers. And never the real person. Sad.

To think that we want to make the world a better place but it seems that the humans are getting worse instead.

So if you have been scammed before, don't worry. You are not the only one. Treat as a lesson learnt and move on. Money goes around and it will come round to you too.

With the internet these days it is hard to tell what is true and what is not. So just be careful and skeptical instead of just believing. 

Have a good weekend!!

Stress

 Stress.

What is stress? Is it an outside factor? A self created emotion, worry, anxiety, panic? What is it really?

I think that stress is self inflicted. It is an emotion that when we worry too much, it becomes anxiety and worries mixed. Constant thinking of a problem or situation creates that pressure on us. Whether to decide to act or think of a solution.

A lot of people under stress, can't function well. Because they can't focus or be distracted. And too many things are zooming in the mind at the same time.

Some serious cases where they don't know how to handle or catagorise or stop themselves from worrying or think logically results in them having depression, anxiety or simply go mad.

I've had my fair share. Been there done that. Even ended up creating a health problem! Eczyma. But once I learnt how to not let my emotions get away, and learn to stop thinking when it's too much to handle, or simply just advise myself that things are not within my control so there is nothing I can stress about....then it starts to cool off and comes back to a balance.

Which is why people exercise, take walks, do yoga, run, listen to music, watch movies...my favorite get away from stress.....binge watch movies. Get away from reality for the time being and be somewhere else.

Everyday we go through stuffs to worry about, what time to wake up, how long to get ready, what's for breakfast, the kids school, bags, food etc...traffic, work, lunch, more work, handling colleagues and customers and the public if on public transport, or even shop owners, we deal with sooooo much each day. Some when they go home they have kids, meals, parents, etc.......all rather stressful I would say. But if everyone cooporated then it would be easy. But that is rare.

Some parents see their kids they forget about the stress at work. Some parents see their kids and they get more stress. So everyone is different. And we all have different situations to deal with and how we deal with them.

It was never like last time when things were so much simpler. With modern technology, things gets easy and at the same time more complicated. Even food itself is more complex these days.

Well, people, it is up to individual to deal with their own stress. Learn to find something that you can totally forget and get away from for a few minutes. Whether is praying, taking a walk, watching movies, listening to music, meditation etc....we all need an outlet to dump our excess emotions and thoughts which is stressing us.

So do take care. My 2 cents thoughts for today as I have been worrying quite a bit today.

Something to think about

 Something to think about......

Well, last night I had a chat with a friend over the phone......okay, it was a 2 hour long talk so it's no longer a chat.

What did we talk about? Everything and anything but mostly about how and what I really want and should do.

Oh....I want to do a lot of things!! And I think I can do a lot of things!! But he told me to face reality and stop trying to comfort myself. Which half of which is true and the other half I disagree with. But overall, it has a lot of truth in it and the other bits are just me being stubborn. Because I do not agree that age is a factor. I am still in my 30s and feel that way too.

Okay, what was it that he said then that I disagree with. He told me to face reality. Okay, age is something that we cannot run away from or change or hide. As much as we look younger, act younger, feel younger and everything younger but....the number doesn't change unfortunately.

In this real world, if you are over 40, when you send in your resume, they go in the bin. Most cases.

Some they look for experience so they want someone a little older but still under 40s. But most, they want young people. Because they think young people are energetic, willing to learn, has more room to improve and stay......and of course can pay peanuts because young and no experience.

Erm...wake up HR? Now a days, the younger people don't stay even long enough for the probation period. Some don't even last a day!! Well, I heard anyway.....some got scolded and left after the second day. So why are you still desperately recruiting the young when you know the generation is kind of overly protected by their parents, who probably are the hardworking staff that stayed in your company for the last 10 years min! And the government is also encouraging older people to be employed as they are the ones who are bringing home the bacon or feeding their kids at home who doesn't or can't last hard work or want a job they want!! Okay, enough ranting. Who feels the same?

Back to my friend....well, he said I should really think about what I can do without getting a job and because getting hired at this age is difficult and there is no guarantee either. Look at what happened during Covid. Many lost jobs and were back to square one trying to fight jobs with the 20 yr olds and getting pay cut to more then half or worse just taking home the bare minimum.

I've tried to do some online work, but you need to have guidance to do that and then on top of that you have to keep upgrading or paying for stuffs. Maybe I didn't look in the right places.

Other then that, part time jobs they are paying what I use to make when I was 16!!!! $10/hr or less!!!! More then 30 years ago!!!! Hellooooooo!!!!!

Shocker ay? Oh well that is reality......and I was told to accept it!! It's just so hard to swallow you know.....but yes...reality hurts.

Oh well....I am not going to go on about the 2 hour conversation we had.....but it's because we haven't met up for a long time and since we split up when companies moved we hardly met up. After we left the company worse. Maybe a phone call every few months. Initially I use to visit his mother's place when I was pregnant and even after my son was born. But they sold the house and there was no longer a meeting up place anymore. Because of certain reasons. That's why each phone call last for about 2 hrs. Trying to squeeze in all that happened in the last few months and trying to catch up!!! LOL......

So call your friends often. Those who have drifted or those you seldom call, call and catch up. They could bring you some light when you are down, cheer you on or just give you some better ideas maybe. CALL THEM!!!! :)

What can you do to prevent from falling off the wagon?

Well,
Everyone has every different suggestions. They can come up with everything to suggest that you stop gambling or going to the casino or whatever.......but what is the best way??

I came across an article the other day. Title was choices. Even though it wa for a hyno magazine and the article was actually related to hynotherapy and the therapist, but the wordings in the article woke me up.

Choices. Everybody have choices. In every single thing. I chose to gamble and ended up with debts. I chose not to control myself and let myself fall off the wagon and I ended in more debts. I chose not to be wise and use my money more efficiently and here I am today.....where I have chose to be because of the choices I made in my life.

So who ever said you have no choice? What we chose to do in life or during our life time is where we end up today and will continue as long as we stick to the same decision and the same choices!

The article was a wake up call. Now the thing is which road do I choose to go down? What would be a wise choice and where do I go from here? No one will be able to tell me except me.

How to I avoid falling off the wagon again? I choose. I stop and think what are my choices before I do anything. I pause for a moment before I reach for that button. When I have thoughts about gambling, I look further. To see where I would probably end up if I made that choice.

Something to think about. Choices.

Dreams, hope wishes.....

Recently, I met up with some friends and we talked about wishes.

How we have to be careful what we wish for. Because it might just come true. And base on experience, how true that is. So if I wish hard enough that I will be debt free, I will get there...or not!!

What was forgotten when we make a wish is the journey of getting there. I've read many a books where they tell me to make a wish, but......but make sure that it brings harm to no one or damages anything or anyone along the way. Which I think is more important then actually getting to our destination.

A friend of mine hated taking choppers and wished he didnt have to do it anymore and one day, he almost died in a chopper. But that brought him back to land and no longer having to take choppers. He told me that his wish came true but he almost died getting his wish. So be careful what you wish for. Very careful.

I read that this girl wanted a house and everyday as she passes the house, she wished the house to be hers......and the owner died and she got to buy the house. Wasn't exactly what she wished for but she failed to also add that no one should die in order for her to get the house. Because then she felt bad for a long time.

SO be careful what we wish for. I dream of being debt free. I wish to be debt free. With no harm to others or damages. Come in good will. And I will work towards that goal too.

As much as I would like to announce that I am debt free...which I am not and guilty that I have fell back into gambling every now and then.

Someone once told me that what we do sometimes is to feed a hunger in us. Finding out what that hunger is harder then just finding a distraction which might be much easier and more enjoying. But because of what he said about that hunger, I have gone in deep and overtime probably have a finger on it.

Us humans do thing because of a hunger for a certain feeling. When I am alone, on my own, I look for excitment. I can be boring sometimes. And I realised that maybe, just maybe it is the feeling of love that I crave. And by gambling, it takes my mind off. Or numbs that hunger. But then again, when we loose, we get even more frustrated.

So, I honestly have no idea what to do. I have tried every way to be disciplined but every now and again, I will fall back. But I have to comfort myself that I am slightly more disciplined. I pay off debts where I cannot have easy access to first. Those that doesnt have internet banking or easy excess. I empty out my bank so I can't do any online transactions. I try to have only cash to spend on. That way, I leave my banks alone.

I will try all sorts of way to find out what works best. I also try to work harder to get more money.

Let's hope I have better news next time.

New Year, New Beginning...or not!

Well, we all have resolutions for the new year and what is your? Same like last year or something totally new? But what happens to last year's problems and are they still around for the new year?

Well, my problems are still the same and I think they will be for the next couple of years unless of course I strike the lottery or something. But then again, who is to say that the problem will not come back and haunt me in the future?

So far, as far as I am concerned, I have to admit that having made some good decisions last year. Firstly of course was to admit my problem and face it instead of living in denial. I don't deny that I have many replases since but I am proud to say that I am more in control and less addictive. My work has used up most of my brains and has been more challanging to give me a high rather then gambling.

I realised that I am the sort of person who look for excitment when I am bored. Now that maybe the economy has picked up, I have more excitment at work thus no need to feed the hunger. Life has been rather challenging for me in the last past month. Having been to China and getting really pissed off with work and seeing for myself the mentality of the chinese and how they work. I wouldn't say I would go back anytime soon if given a choice!!

Then we had the holidays which Christmas I spend in Shanghai totally miserable and the good thing was they ban gambling online so no chance of doing that at all. Which I think sometimes maybe that is what government should do! They ban porno websites but not gambling. Why??

Gambling I think does more damage then porno if you ask me!! But then again, if you have to pay for it then yes, it is just as bad. But gambling sites make so much money I think it is ridiculous. How often can you verify that the person they announced actually won or is it a bogus?

I am glad for one that I did not go cold turkey on my addiction. I know how it will blow up in my face sooner or later. But being control is a much better feeling. And keeping the bank free of access money is a good way to keep me under control. Credit cards of high interest has been cleared on high priority and juggling the low interest to ensure that they do not max out and to pay off anything with high interest is actually quite interesting. It really works the brain and how to manage. Which at the end of the day, even though I still owe the same amount of money, but at least I felt that I have managed it at a manageable level.

I will have a loan finishing in a couple of months and I am already thinking how that could help me clear my debts faster. Even though I am thinking and going to look for a place to buy with my CPF, I have something to look forward to with access cash. Most importantly, it is to one day become debt free. After all my little debts are cleared, I will work on the bigger one like house and car to try and clear off so that when I do retire, I have no burdens.

At the rate I am going at my job, I can do better. I know I can and I should do so now before I get too old. I don't need to be in a high post in a huge company but I need to make enough money for me. But how much is enough?

Well, I have been lucky and have some extra income from 4D but not much...but that helps a little.

I will still work harder this year to accomplish my goals. I do want to try and clear everything before 2013.

If we believe, we can achieve. Happy New Year!!